Relief

I’m afraid to even type this, but I feel like I finally have my head above water. As we told a group of new parents the other night (we were there to tell our birth story), the first few weeks with a newborn are just gonna suck. You won’t sleep much. You might be in pain. You’ll realize you haven’t showered in way too long. But eventually you find your rhythm as a parent.

I’m still scared to be alone with the baby all day or to take her places, but I’m finding myself less so every day. At some point you realize that you can handle whatever happens because you’ve been handling it for weeks.

I don’t think we’re in a perfect place with breastfeeding, but we have made so much progress. At points I had really lost hope of it ever working out — and then I got mastitis, which is plain awful. But somehow we came out of that with the motivation to keep going. I’m not a person who gives up easily.

I’m starting to meet up with other moms and babies, which is definitely something you need if you’re home all day with a person who doesn’t talk back. It sounds terrible, but it made me feel so much better to hear that other people had struggles with breastfeeding or sleep or work schedules. I just needed to feel like I wasn’t alone in that.

I’m used to getting peed/pooped/spit up on now. I am so disappointed in the 7th Generation diapers we’ve been using until her cloth ones fit. We’ve had so many blowouts with them. Maybe she is just a super pooper. 😉


I die for those chubby thighs.

I’m trying to dress in something other than yoga pants everyday, but that only sometimes happens. I feel like my body has reshaped itself. The only regular jeans that fit are ones that didn’t fit well before. I wish I could say I didn’t have a jiggly belly full of stretch marks, but that’s what you get for having a baby! You also get a baby, which is pretty cool.

Harper is still pretty tiny, but growing like crazy. She wants to eat and eat all the time — so much like her parents. People always think she’s a boy because we dress her in neutral clothes, but I don’t care. They also think she’s a redhead, but I think her hair is more light brown with a reddish tint. Not sure where that came from, but it’s pretty adorable.

The other day I read this birth story that just cracked my heart right open. I realized I had been spending so much time frustrated and just trying to weather each day’s mini crisis that I hadn’t really gotten to appreciate what a gift my baby was. Of course she makes me crazy sometimes, but she is here, healthy and strong, with 10 fingers and 10 toes. And for that we are lucky indeed.